


can't dispose of this bitter aftertaste

by pinuspinea



Series: Swan Lake remixes [7]
Category: Swan Lake & Related Fandoms, Лебединое озеро - Чайковский | Swan Lake - Tchaikovsky
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Depression, F/M, Fairy Tale Retellings, Infidelity, Loss of Innocence, Marriage, Royalty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:54:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25935499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinuspinea/pseuds/pinuspinea
Summary: The swan queen gets what she wants and realises too late what she loses because of it.When Odette leaves the lake, she also leaves behind the man who loved her and their daughter.
Relationships: Odette & Odile, Odette/Prints Siegfried | Prince Siegfried (Lebedínoye Ózero | Swan Lake), Odette/Von Rothbart (Lebedínoye Ózero | Swan Lake), Odile & Von Rothbart (Lebedínoye Ózero | Swan Lake)
Series: Swan Lake remixes [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824241
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	can't dispose of this bitter aftertaste

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Swan Lake comment club](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Swan+Lake+comment+club).



> Dearest Pure Anon and Mme de Croix, you wondered what would happen if Siegfried broke the spell. I hope this installment will break your heart as much as it broke von Rothbart's.

The sun is nearing the horizon and will soon burst onto the sky. Odette looks longingly at the young prince, at his youthful smile and eyes that do not know sorrow like hers, and she wishes the night wouldn't have to end.

"Come with me," Siegfried begs. "Come and be my wife. I love you, Odette. You're nothing like I've ever seen before and there will never be anyone like you."

He smiles, so full of hope and so full of life, and Odette takes his hands.

"Do you promise?" she asks hesitantly. "Do you promise to love me forever?"

"Forever and a day," Siegfried smiles and then bends to kiss her, and Odette melts into his warm embrace, completely forgetting any other embraces she has felt during her long life, completely forgetting everything else.

"Yes," she breathes out in a moment of thoughtlessness. "Yes, I will be your wife."

Siegfried's smile is almost more dazzling with the light of the morning sun. Odette watches the beautiful boy and, transfixed by his smile, follows him away from the lake.

* * *

Odile steps into the kitchen excited about the ball and stops on her tracks when she sees her father. Her heart lurches out of fear. Her father, the man who has always been so strong and has always known what to do, looks hopeless and like he has cried most of the night.

"What's wrong?" Odile asks and steps closer to her father. "Is mama alright?"

She worriedly glances at the lake. The swan maidens are there, but she can't see her mother anywhere.

"She's gone," her father says numbly. "Odette's gone."

"What do you mean?" Odile demands with a hint of panic colouring her voice. "How can she be gone?"

Her father's shoulders would slump were it possible. He seems devoid of life and hope, like an empty husk that remains after everything that makes a human has left the body. He seems like he's not quite believing it, like everything is too real and not real enough at the same time.

"Odette broke her spell," he murmurs numbly. "She broke her curse and she left the lake."

_She left us_ , her father doesn't say, but Odile realises the meaning of his words. Pain spreads like poison in her veins and a disbelieving laugh turns into an aborted sob. Odile covers her mouth and refuses to scream.

_She can't be gone, she can't_ , Odile thinks, but as she looks at the lake, it is clear that her mother is gone. The swan queen is nowhere to be seen. Her father is too broken for it to be a lie.

"How could she?" Odile asks. "How could she?" she screams.

Her mother is gone, has left them both. How could she just walk away from them when she knows how they love her, how they need her? How could she just leave when everything she has ever known is right there by the lake?

Odile tears through the house and flees her father and the too-bright morning sun into her room, locking the door behind her. She closes the curtains and throws herself onto the bed and cries, cries, cries until she no longer has any tears left.

Her father sits on the other side of her door and tries to speak to her, but Odile refuses to come out.

She hates sunlight with a burning passion, and she hates her selfish mother.

* * *

The palace is even more beautiful than moonlight reflected on still water. Odette's eyes roam all the features and take in all the nooks and crannies, and she lets out a small breath. Siegfried smiles so brightly and pulls her forward.

"Come on," he murmurs, eyes all soft and loving. "I have many people I want to introduce you to."

Odette lets him pull her forward, though hesitance is starting to settle into her bones. She doesn't look much like other people, all pale and frail and ethereal. There's something still distinctly off about her, something that already the guards at the gates noticed. Her dress is not of this time, her jewels grown organically on her skin. She feels self-conscious as they enter the palace and then follow all the voices towards the heart of the party.

They stop at the doorway. She looks at the sea of people in front of her, of all those unfamiliar faces and eyes that have never before looked at her. They all seem so shaken by their sudden appearance, but Siegfried doesn't let her study their faces, instead drawing her down the stairs and into the hub.

He starts a dance that Odette is quick to learn the steps of. She feels shy. Everyone is staring at them, all those unfamiliar people, all those strangers that just some hours ago used to be a threat to her whole existence.

Odette shivers and keeps her eyes on the prince that dances with her and wishes this nauseating pit in her stomach would close.

The dance ends far too soon, and everyone descends upon them. Siegfried laughs as he introduces her as his wife, and Odette nearly flinches as she hears those words and suddenly feels the weight of one of his rings on her finger. It doesn't suit her, the gold clashing with all her jewels, the metal too large around her delicate finger.

A queen can always recognise another queen approaching. Odette's eyes sense the shifting dynamic in the ballroom, and she curtseys.

"Are the rumours true, Siegfried?" the dowager queen asks. "Have you chosen a wife?"

"I have," Siegfried says with a proud smile. "This is Odette."

Odette nods her head respectfully. Siegfried's crude hands feel like a shackle around her fingers. With growing dread, she is starting to realise that this is not a dream, but real life.

She's all alone in the crowd, a mute little thing amongst a sea of predators. Her hands shake and sweat in Siegfried's grip, his ring presses painfully into her skin, but Odette doesn't complain. She simply follows the boy with a happy smile and thinks about the lake, the lake where everyone saw her and not what they expected to see, a lake where she didn't have to be anything else but herself.

Odette thinks about the lake, and then she thinks about Odile and Wolfgang, and she nearly starts crying when she realises what she has done, but Siegfried doesn't notice. He pulls her into another dance she doesn't know and chats so excitedly about everything, and all Odette can do is fight against the burning hot shame and the tears that threaten to spill.

The ball is long, oh so long. Siegfried dances himself into exhaustion. Odette is glad about it when the boy pulls her into his – no, not his, but theirs – their rooms and kisses her goodnight.

Odette lies wide awake in the bed and tries to understand what possessed her, what made her forget the price of marriage, what will happen now that she has left the lake.

* * *

Siegfried is so happy now that he has found a wife who seems to understand him and doesn't constantly nag him into being more like his father. Odette rarely even comments about the past, seemingly content to live in the moment. Siegfried understands it. It must have been hard, being stuck at the lake for all those years.

Odette is a quiet woman. She still gets easily spooked by palace life and doesn't quite seem to believe that her horrible fate has been averted and that she will remain as a human for the rest of her life. Sometimes Siegfried catches her walking in the garden and staring at her hands, always staring at her hands.

The court gossips horribly, but Siegfried is too happy to give their opinion any weight.

One day, when they've been married for almost a month, Wolfgang arrives at the palace again. Siegfried excitedly drags the man to the gardens where Odette prefers to stay, nearly talking his head off when telling him of his queen. Wolfgang takes one look at the new queen and closes his eyes.

"I already know the swan queen, Siegfried," Wolfgang says in his quiet voice and smiles, though he looks oddly tired. "She used to live at the lake by my house."

Wolfgang and Odette's eyes meet for a tense moment. Siegfried is afraid that she will be spooked by the reminder of her time as a swan, but instead, Odette sits down on a bench and looks at Wolfgang properly, much more daringly than she ever looks at anyone else.

"Oh?" Siegfried asks, interested to hear more. He turns to Odette. "How long were you there? A few years?"

He doesn't quite understand the look that passes over Odette's face. Wolfgang lets out a rush of breath. His eyes look distant.

"A few hundred years?" Wolfgang guesses. Siegfried's eyebrows climb on his forehead and he looks at Odette. She is frowning as if trying to remember.

"Oh, you poor thing," Siegfried says and sits down next to her and kisses her knuckles. Odette remains still. There is the familiar distance in her eyes that is always there whenever she is reminded of her past. She almost looks like she is about to say something, but then she remains mute again. She often does that. Siegfried wonders what she would say if she had the strength.

Curiously, she seems to push those words aside and choose new ones. Wolfgang already looks like he is about to leave.

"How is Odile?"

The question and the name are unfamiliar to Siegfried, but apparently not to Wolfgang whose shoulders slump. A flash of pain crosses his face, but it is quickly hidden. Siegfried is struck by the change. Never before has he seen such a reaction from Wolfgang, and he wonders who this Odile is.

"As well as can be expected," Wolfgang says numbly.

"Has something happened?" Siegfried asks, worried for his tutor. Wolfgang stares back at him for a few long seconds before he looks at the ground.

"Odile's mother is gone now," Wolfgang says with carefully chosen words. Odette bows her head. "Odile is still adjusting to it."

Siegfried doesn't really know what to say. He suddenly realises just how little he truly knows Wolfgang. This is the first time the man even admits aloud that he has a daughter.

Siegfried remembers the conversation they had, the softness in his eyes as he spoke of his wife. The loss of her must be horrible to bear. Siegfried has known Odette for just a month now, and already he can't imagine life without her. She has brightened his world and brought him calmness that he didn't have before.

Just like Wolfgang said, his heart has settled on Odette and refused anyone else. It must hurt dreadfully when the heart loses its object of adoration.

Siegfried squeezes Odette's hand a little tighter. Her eyes trail after Wolfgang after the man makes his excuses and leaves them alone in the garden.

* * *

Siegfried keeps pestering Wolfgang, and Odette watches with worried eyes as Wolfgang becomes tenser and tenser. Eventually he will snap and do something he will regret, but Siegfried, that clueless boy, is still not wise or old enough to notice how Wolfgang hates to be around them both.

One night in their bedroom, in the lavish bedroom and sitting on that too-soft bed with too many covers, Odette decides it's time to warn Siegfried.

"You shouldn't pester Wolfgang right now," she murmurs. Siegfried looks up. His hands remain on the buttons of his half-opened waistcoat. He looks surprised to hear her speak.

"I'm pestering him?" Siegfried asks, his confusion clear on his face. Odette sighs and looks at her lap. She still is shaken to see colour on her form, clothes that are not pure white after years and years of use. It's easier during the evenings and nights when she gets to take those tight and restricting and uncomfortable garments off, but she misses her old dress more than she is willing to admit.

"Not intentionally. Never intentionally," Odette sighs.

They're quiet for a moment. Siegfried studies her with his puppy-like eyes and Odette searches for words. It's surprisingly difficult to speak of Wolfgang to Siegfried.

It's surprisingly hard to see the man and not hold his hand or kiss him or curl up against him even if she now has Siegfried to shower her in his love. It's so strange to keep away from Wolfgang when she has grown so used to his constant presence and quiet love. Odette still doesn't understand it, doesn't know why he needs her in such a way, but she misses his presence.

"His heart is too raw right now," she eventually says and wonders if she is still talking about Wolfgang or if she is talking about herself. "He's having a difficult time, Siegfried, and you being so loving around me makes him remember what he has lost."

Siegfried takes off his waistcoat and his trousers and then crawls onto the bed. He studies her for a long moment.

"I didn't think about that," he admits and looks a little ashamed. Odette takes his hand into hers.

"He's a difficult man to get to know as well as I have," Odette murmurs quietly. "But I suppose he hasn't made it easy for anyone."

When they finally settle in for the night, her chest still rising with heavy breathing and his warm skin pressed against hers, she prepares herself for another empty day at the palace and all those people who don't know her yet pretend they do, and she misses the lake and her swan maidens and her daughter and Wolfgang.

* * *

A knock on the door interrupts their strained dinner. It's all the excuse he needs to leave Odile brooding alone in the darkened dining room.

The corridors are dimmer now, seemingly having lost all their previous shine when Odette left. The house is like a prison for them, yet neither wants to leave. They both want things to go back to normal, yet that normal slips further away with each passing day.

Numbly, he opens the door and looks at Odette. He can't quite decide if it's worse seeing her at the palace or at the front door of his house, and he leans against the frame. Odette is worrying her lip. She looks nothing like herself. Siegfried has decorated her in rich jewel tones and gold, and even though she is always beautiful, this version of her is nowhere close to the appeal of the swan queen he has known.

"Can I come in?" Odette asks. He makes room for her in the doorway, and with great hesitation, she steps closer, but instead of moving away, she remains in his physical space. He looks at her and his eyes study her, not with their previous enthusiasm, but still they study her.

"Are you happy with him?" he can't stop himself from asking. Odette stills, so near to him yet so far away from him, and it hurts almost as bad as that first morning.

She takes his hand and looks him in the eye.

"I miss you," she says quietly and looks at him with her wide and wondrous eyes. He shivers and feels powerless in front of her, unable to deny anything from her even though he knows it will kill him to let her go back to Siegfried.

Odette pulls him into the dining room. Odile looks up and stares at her mother with her harsh face, a face that has become suddenly so cold and cruel.

"Oh, so you didn't forget about us," Odile spits poisonous words out of her mouth. Her napkin ends up on the table. The chair screeches against the floorboards as she suddenly stands up. Odile's mutinous stare reaches Odette and him, and they stand there helplessly as their daughter storms out of the room.

The candles flicker and drown in a pool of wax. It is so dark in the room, and if he closes his eyes, he can almost pretend that she is like she used to be, before she chose to leave the lake, before she married another man.

She falls against his body with a shaky breath and guilt churning in her stomach. He pulls her closer and buries his face in her hair until she shifts, and her lips meet his, and then he kisses her until he can forget.

Who is he to deny her, who is he to not be a slave at the altar of her body?

* * *

For the first time ever, Odile wakes up to her mother petting her hair and humming broken lullabies to her. She lies there for a long moment and listens to her mother's voice and thinks back to a childhood she could have had, and she doesn't know if it hurts more to think that her mother never wanted to have a child with her father or if she deliberately chose to leave because she was never happy here.

Odette doesn't speak, but she rarely speaks to anyone. Odile looks with tears in her eyes at the mother she thought she knew, and Odette looks back with tired eyes.

"I didn't realise what it meant," Odette murmurs. "I didn't think it through."

Odile slowly sits up and looks at her mother. She looks much less put together in the light of morning than last night. Her eyes are red from having stayed up much too late and she looks like she has cried, but there is also fear and love blatant on her face. She gently holds Odile's hands and studies them.

"Why couldn't you break your curse earlier with papa?" Odile asks and bites her lip. Her mother swallows thickly and looks like she is about to cry again, but she doesn't. Instead, she gives Odile a watery smile and looks at her daughter, and she sees that Odile is now old enough to understand hurt and pain and broken hearts.

"It's not that easy, Odile," Odette says silently. She caresses Odile's hands with softness and nervousness that is new to Odile's eyes. "I wanted to love him so badly, but I couldn't. And now that I no longer have him, I can finally understand just how much he has always been willing to sacrifice for me."

Her mother is quiet for a long while, seemingly deep in thought. Odile waits and waits and hopes there will be some sort of an explanation to this.

"Siegfried is so different," Odette says eventually. "He's so young and so happy and so very different, and I hadn't known anything like him for years. I shouldn't have left with him. He's so young and still so naive, and I didn't realise that until too late. And now I can't leave him. Siegfried's blinded by the whole fantasy of a swan queen. He's painted me into a corner with his expectations and I don't know how I could get out without ruining everything."

Odile sits there quietly. Her mother has closed her eyes and sits there, shame clear on her face. It feels odd to hear such a confession from her mother.

"Can't you tell him the truth?" Odile asks in a small voice. Odette sighs.

"I'm afraid what would happen," her mother admits. "He knows that a sorcerer cast that spell on me and that I was at the lake for a long time, but that's the extent of it. He doesn't know that Wolfgang is the sorcerer, and he doesn't know that you are our daughter."

It's Odette's turn to bite her lip.

"I can't let him know any of that, because I know that he would do something, and I don't want any of you to get hurt."

Odile buries her head against her mother's bosom and finally cries, and her mother cries diamonds and silver into her hair and onto her skin, and for a moment, they look so similar it is almost impossible to tell them apart.

* * *

Sometimes Odette forgets herself and compares the two men that have ever loved her. Siegfried is so young and so full of life, so very good and happy. He is soft and always smiling, and his caresses make her shiver in anticipation, but his love is like the warmth of summer days.

Wolfgang, on the other hand, is a fire ready to burst into an inferno. His love is quick and intense, and when he pulls her against his body, Odette gasps and melts. He knows her so well after all these years, knows what she likes and what she's afraid of, and his kisses are a secret against her skin.

The two men are so dissimilar, yet Odette can't help but stretch herself and her heart thin between the two. Both love her in their own way, and she knows it cannot go on much longer, yet she still cannot stop herself, can't stop going back to Wolfgang or tell Siegfried the truth.

And so she goes on and tries to keep them both to herself all the while knowing with horrifying certainty that something is bound to expose her secret.

* * *

Von Rothbart stands alone in the palace garden, and that is when Odette comes to him. Their meetings are usually much more discrete, hidden in abandoned corridors or parts of garden that most people never think about crossing into, but he can immediately see this is no common rendezvous. Odette is shaking a little as she stops in front of him.

He lays his hand down on her arm and promises with a gesture that he will always be there for her, and she takes in a shaky breath.

"I think I'm pregnant," she whispers to him. He closes his eyes and turns his face away. Odette grasps onto his arm and stands so close to him, but he cannot wrap his arms around her, not now.

"Why would you tell me and not him?" he murmurs back and looks at her. Their eyes meet. She looks uncertain. This is nothing like learning of Odile's existence. This time Odette is coming to him, telling him what is going on, yet there is no hope and no excitement. He stands there, her grasping onto him, and all he can think about is that the child will seal Odette away from him.

"You know just as well as I do the mess we're in, Wolfgang," she hisses and then hurriedly looks around them. The garden is devoid of anyone else, but even so, Odette bends to whisper into his ears words that he can barely hear even though she is so near to him. "I don't think the child is Siegfried's. I think… I think it is yours."

He's too weak at the hurried words. They are far too unexpected. He falls down to his knees and closes his eyes and covers his face with his hands.

It takes him many minutes to gather himself, and then he pulls Odette away from where others may pass by. In a grove where they have surrendered to one another before, he teaches her a spell in hurried whispers, but he is too much of a coward to know for certain.

He leaves her with a too-short kiss and wishes that the child is his, that Siegfried cannot have that as well.

* * *

The first spell Odette ever successfully casts has her stomach lurching. Tears fall freely from her eyes as she looks at the light in her hands, the tiny light that she instinctually knows all about, and she wishes he was here to share the moment with her, but that isn't possible.

She cries alone in the magnificent rooms that have become her home and hastily wipes her tears when she hears Siegfried coming. He sees her sitting alone on the bed and comes to her, sees her red-rimmed eyes, and he looks at her with worry.

"Is everything alright?" he asks, always so kind and caring. Odette squeezes the hem of her skirts into her hands and tries to gather herself. It won't be long until she will have to tell him the truth and it would be pointless to try to hide this from him. Even so, she struggles.

Siegfried looks at her with wide eyes and she feels her resolve crumbling.

She presses her head against his chest and allows him to wrap her in a hug, and she wishes Wolfgang was here. He would know not to speak, not to ask such worried questions. He would know that she just needs a little more time.

She cries against Siegfried's chest and knows she has ruined everything.

* * *

When Siegfried hears of his wife's pregnancy, he is nearly happy enough to burst. He tells the whole court and they celebrate Odette growing a new life together, yet something in Odette seems brittle. She pulls away, and even though he tries to ask what is wrong, she doesn't say anything, simply looks miserable and keeps her silence.

Siegfried worries and so does the court, but nothing can bring back Odette's previous excitement. She spends more and more time in the garden, refusing to be taken care by the best doctors or midwives from nearby villages.

Only Wolfgang seems to know what to do. He shows up at the court one day and drags Odette in from the gardens and orders the servants to run a warm bath and to find her dresses that aren't so restricting. Odette emerges from the bathroom with her hair down and looking almost dazed by the simple and flowing dress that is nothing like the usual heavy brocades and silks. Siegfried rushes to her side and asks if she is fine, and she simply nods her head and looks at Wolfgang.

"Thank you," she says to Wolfgang. The man nods and takes his leave.

Siegfried is too relieved to notice it then, but later he wonders how well Wolfgang must know Odette. Their friendship must be truly close for him to sense just what Odette needs.

Afterwards, Odette seems to find a morsel of peace, but sometimes Siegfried sees how she looks out of windows at the bright blue sky and touches the leaves in bushes and trees, how she dips her hand into fountains and how she seems to miss something terribly.

One morning, he wakes up and she is not in the bed with him, and at first, he thinks nothing of it, but when none of the servants know where she is, a worry starts building up. She is far along in her pregnancy and he worries what may happen to her or the child, and he scrambles through the rooms of the palace and the garden until he finds a note.

_I'm sorry_ , her shaky handwriting says. Siegfried stares numbly at the ring that is supposed to be in Odette's finger. _I'm not meant for this life_.

Siegfried thinks about the lake and a horrifying fear settles into him, and before anyone can ask him a question, he starts running.

* * *

He hasn't been back to the lake since that night, and now that he looks around, he sees the lake is not half as strange as it seemed. The water is clear and there are swan maidens floating on the waves, but most importantly, now he sees the house that stands tall and proud in the evening sun.

Siegfried heads to it and knocks on the door, wondering if Wolfgang will know where Odette could be hiding.

The door opens and Siegfried is struck speechless. At first, he thinks he is looking at Odette, but something in that closed-off face tips him off. But it is strange to see Odette's features on another person, and for a long while Siegfried can only stare.

"Did you come to try to talk my mother back into returning?" the girl asks in harsh words, and Siegfried's stomach drops.

He stands there and feels like an idiot.

"Your mother?" he manages to say. The girl raises her eyebrow.

"Papa was right," she muses. "You certainly aren't the brightest."

Siegfried follows the girl into the house numbly. She leads him into a sitting room where she keeps pacing while he falls ungracefully onto the lounge and stares into nothingness.

Eventually, his eyes find the girl again and he looks at her properly. Her hair is dark and so are her eyes, but she has the same gracefulness and features as Odette. There is no denying that she is Odette's daughter.

He feels like a fool when he realises who her father must be, and that is when Wolfgang comes to the room. Siegfried barely even registers the swaddle of blankets in Wolfgang's arms. He's still too distraught by the thought of Odette having returned to the lake, by the thought that Wolfgang must be the sorcerer who cursed her, and by the knowledge that they have a daughter together, a daughter Odette left.

Wolfgang gives Odile the swaddle of blankets.

"Say hello to your brother," Wolfgang murmurs with uncharacteristic softness, but his eyes remain sharp and on Siegfried. The latter stares back helplessly, wishing for this all to be some bad dream.

"How is mama?" the girl asks while accepting her brother. Her face softens. She looks a lot more like Odette with that loving and gentle expression on her face.

"Tired, but otherwise well," Wolfgang says. He remains quiet for a moment, studying Siegfried with intense eyes. "Come outside, Siegfried."

The boy follows Wolfgang numbly to the shores of the lake. The swan maidens study them from the opposite shore, but they don't come any closer. Wolfgang crosses his arms on his chest and looks at the gleaming water with a carefully guarded look on his face.

Siegfried thinks back to the day when Wolfgang spoke of the woman he loved. Back then, he looked so soft and happy when he thought of her, and Siegfried suddenly realises that he stole Odette from Wolfgang, though he also knows that Odette chose to come along him, chose to become his wife, chose to have a life with him.

"She isn't going back," Wolfgang says, as if sensing what he must be thinking about. Siegfried looks at his tutor and swallows thickly.

"Are you forcing her to stay?" Siegfried asks with bitterness. Wolfgang gives him a curious look that almost seems like pity.

"I am not," Wolfgang says and then holds his silence.

Why would she return? Siegfried thinks about it for a long time, but there is no answer for him to find.

"After tonight, you will never find the lake again," Wolfgang tells him. "I will make it certain. No one will ever come here again unless they are brought here by one of us. I will make everyone forget about this lake's existence as well as make them forget Odette, but you will always know what happened."

"You'd keep my son from me?" Siegfried asks with a flinch. A cruel smile curls on Wolfgang's lips.

"Oh, but neither of us can ever be certain who the child's father is," Wolfgang says and turns towards the house. His eyes find something they adore, someone they adore. Siegfried turns to look the same way, and he sees Odette standing by the house, pale and tired and with the swaddle of blankets in her arms as well as her daughter by her side.

Odette makes her way to them with small steps. Wolfgang accepts the child easily into his arms and smiles at the babe, and Odette lays her hand on Siegfried's arm.

"Thank you," she says and kisses his cheek. "Thank you for breaking my spell."

Siegfried can only nod numbly. Odette lets go of him, and something tells him that this is the only goodbye he will ever have.

He looks at her in the last rays of light and seals the memory of her into his heart, and then he leaves, broken-hearted and understanding much more.

* * *

Siegfried is much changed when he returns to the castle where no one can remember that he had a wife. He sees all those people gossiping about the king who should get married soon yet refuses to do so, and he goes to their chambers and sees Odette's memory lingering in them.

There are no pictures of her anywhere, just his memories, only his memories. He dreams of her during the nights and longs for her during the days, and sometimes, he wanders the forest and hopes to find the lake with swans or the family on its shores, but he never does.

There is no sign of them ever existing. Sometimes Siegfried thinks he must be mad.

He thinks about the swan queen and wonders if she's happy, and he wonders if the child was his or Wolfgang's.


End file.
